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Community > Birth Month
June 2024 Babies
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newmommy0624
So, let me just say I would call myself a very private person. Only posting and sharing when I want to on social media.
When my husband and I got married, we were very private about it. We planned it in a little under 2 weeks and only invited about 20 people (18 family members, 2 friends). Everyone knew we were engaged, but we never made any posts about our wedding. So fast forward to our wedding day…I was so excited to make my post afterwards because nobody knew & I had a little thrill of being able to keep something so big so private.
So after our wedding, all of us ladies (and my husband who was eating cake) were sitting at the table laughing and talking like women do & all of a sudden my cousin is like my phone is blowing up about the wedding. Huh?? Nobody was supposed to know. So I’m like how? My MIL says, “Oh, we weren’t supposed to share it? I already posted it on Facebook.” Y’all, my husband and all my family members froze in place because everyone already knew that again, I’m a private person. I looked at my husband because she is known to do stuff like this & he assured me beforehand that she wouldn’t. Nevertheless, I was VERY mature because it was our day & I wasn’t going to let anything ruin it. So I simply said, let me see the post. Y’all….we were still giving VOWS when she posted it. Like girl, you weren’t even in the moment. To me, it was like let me be the first to make the announcement & that *** pissed me off so bad because it was not your announcement to make!!!
Anyways, sorry, I didn’t mean for this post to be so long, but I feel relieved �� so my question is, should myself or my husband who said he absolutely will because he doesn’t want a repeat of our wedding, tell her under no circ*mstances should she announce anything about the birth of our baby? I still feel like she would make an indirect post like “Feeling happy ��” or “Feeling blessed.” ���� my husband has literally had to call her to take posts down for premature announcements about things in his life!
Okay, rant over. Thanks for listening! Advice encouraged.
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Shgirlie
my mil is the same way. I explicitly told her that my familys vacation photos were for her eyes only But somehow it eas on her facebook the next day. I stopped sharing photos with her
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newmommy0624
@Shgirlie,
it’s so disrespectful to me! It bothered me so bad & honestly I still wish I would’ve addressed it. I just feel like some stuff shouldn’t have to be said. It’s so bad that I don’t even want her to know I’m in labor, but I’m telling my family, so I can’t tell my husband not to tell his mom. Ugh.
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Shgirlie
@newmommy0624,
id tell my husband not to tell his mom bc guess what !? My delivery so my boundaries
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peachesandpearhalves
don’t tell her when the baby is here until you’re ready to share it publicly. She’s already shown you she can’t keep a secret and doesn’t understand that other peoples news isn’t hers to share.
That’s a sure way to make sure she doesn’t do it. Tell her with everyone else since she can’t be trusted.
Also I hate that for you about the wedding.
People love to make an occasion about themselves!
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newmommy0624
@peachesandpearhalves,
agreed! She definitely can’t be trusted. I just struggle with telling my husband he can’t tell his mom, when I’m so close to my family & will absolutely be sharing with them ASAP when I’m in labor. Unlike her, my family respects our boundaries though!
The wedding incident still really bothers me. Sadly, my grandmother was the same way with my mom. I hate to say all MILs are the same, but…
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mommygirl867
@newmommy0624,
we aren’t telling anybody this time when I go into labor. Last time, we couldn’t even play on our phones due to them being so blown up with calls and texts and feeling obligated to give updates to everybody every dang hour. Sooooo many people too. Big mistake. It was annoying and eventually we just had to ignore our phones all together �� not a peaceful time
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newmommy0624
@mommygirl867,
that is so aggravating! As if you didn’t just have a child and want to bond with your baby??? I swear people have no common sense.
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Bearmama3131
That’s super annoying and rude imo… I don’t think you should feel bad for asking DH to put her on more of an info diet given the circ*mstances… it doesn’t have to be exactly equal to your family since she clearly is a little crazy.. good luck!
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newmommy0624
@Bearmama3131,
It’s very annoying and very rude! He already knows how she is, so I definitely think he will tell her. Thank you!!
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firsttimeat36
His mom- his convo! I strongly believe the person whose side it is is responsible for putting the boundaries in place!
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newmommy0624
@firsttimeat36,
Definitely agree! I have no problems telling my parents anything, but then again, they respect my boundaries. Never had an issue.
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mac-n-cheese
Yikes! You are very patient and told the story with humor, a credit to you, because she sounds difficult!
Your husband should handle this by telling her! I love the rule that it’s dad’s job to wrangle in-laws.
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newmommy0624
@mac-n-cheese,
I really try to be because it is his mom, but it’s like come on girl, some stuff should be understood!
I love that rule too!!
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rcv1983
I definitely think he should say something… it’s not like she hasn’t set a precedent that she needs to be told!! And if she pushes back AT ALL, he can always tell her that if she can’t respect that you guys will be the ones to post about your baby first, she won’t be getting as many baby pics since you will have a hard time knowing who she’ll be sharing them with!
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misfit-mama
800% tell her not to post anything.
I have to do the same for my former MIL.
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herewegrowagain11
I wouldn’t say a thing. My MIL doesn’t post on social media but she does love to inform everyone by text. My husband and I have received pictures and updates from people we hardly know.
Before I met his uncle’s new wife AND baby, I had a picture of her newborn straight out of delivery and could tell you every detail about her labor. And I don’t even think the poor girl knows ��
Luckily, my husband caught that immediately and we both agreed in that moment to not share anything with her until we’re home with our baby.
The last thing I need is for strangers to see my baby in a hospital blanket or me passed out on a hospital bed before we even get our first meal. ��
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lobsterr
I tell my MIL everything last now bc she does this all the important people get told first then her. And if it hurts her feelings then it’s her own fault.
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mrslauderdale1
I wouldn’t tell her the baby was born yet. We are actually delaying some close family knowing because they have no boundaries.
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